Breast clinic

So I debated posting the blog post and be appointment was a little while ago buy everytime I have a shower the first thing I do is check my lump to make sure it's still there and not changed.

On the day I wore an outfit that made me feel fabulous even though I was stupidly over dressed but it was like a armour. I dropped the kids with the in laws and then me and Luke went to our local hospital.

We were both so nervous that talking to each other was hard and forced. When we got to the hospital we met the dr. I wish I rembered his name because it was something along the lines of Dr Copafeel it made me giggle because that's what he was about to do.

I go in sit down and he asks about the lump and the bumps on my nipples. He asked about my periods and then commented on my weight. This got my back up because I wasn't there about my weight.

I laid on a table took my dress off and he looked at my nipples commented that it could be blocked sweat glands and was about to leave until I commented about the lump. This is what I was worried about since the dr found it. He was very nonchalant about it. To him he may see different lumps all day long but to me this was personal and honestly fucking scary. He felt the lump said he thought it was fatty tissue but best to have a scan on it. He said they don't do mamagrams on people my age.

We walk to the department where Ican have my scan done. Because ladies have to take there tops off and sit in a hospital gown Luke wasn't allowed to wait with me. I went to the changing room took my dress off and putthe gown on and waited in the waiting room. The room was empty and I sat there alone in silence scared for 15 minutes. This doesn't sound like a long time but when all you have is scared thoughts it honestly felt like forever. I think because of my age the whole situation felt like a nuisance to them. I love the NHS and am so thankful for it but do feel like this could be better managed somehow. I digress though.

A nurse called me in and they scan my breast with the lump. The worst bit here is in the beginning she never even scammed where my lump was. Again I had to say where my local GP had found the lump for them to scan over that area. She commented that there was nothing there to wipe the gel off and get changed again in the changing room. The scan took no longer then 2 minutes. The whole process felt so very scary to me and lonely. I am so bloody lucky that it was nothing but I came away feeling really numb and honestly not reassured.

We are told to check are breasts to report any changes and I have done this to then be shrugged off. I feel like they could of used this time to educate on what to look out for. What to do if the lump changes. What's a normal change.

I worried from my first appointment I was wasting my GPs time and then was honestly made to feel that way at the hospital.

Regardless of my experience if you do notice any change in your breasts please see the dr. Or may be rare to get breast cancer before 50 but it does happen and should be treated more seriously.

Thanks for reading,

Jane